There’s a saying, attributed to motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Does that mean you need to surround yourself with millionaires if you want to become a millionaire?
Of course, not.
But you do have to surround yourself with people who will help set you up for success and support you through good times and bad.
How the People You Surround Yourself with Influence You
All this is not to say you are easily influenced by others and incapable of making your own decisions.
On the contrary, you have the ability to choose who you spend the most time with.
But there’s no denying that the people we surround ourselves with tend to influence our thoughts and behaviors.
Consider the study that found that if two people spend a lot of time together and one of them becomes obese, the chances that the other will become obese increased by 57%!
While it’s true that every body, and every metabolism, is different, there’s no denying that it’s a lot harder to order a salad when your friend is ordering a burger and fries. And it’s easier to go for a run or lift some weights when you see someone else tying the laces on their running shoes.
The same goes for anything you’re trying to achieve in life. Accomplishment requires a certain mindset, and we tend to take on the mindset of the people we spend the most time with.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying a phrase your mom used to say, or using words you had never used until you heard them from a friend, you’ve experienced this phenomenon.
It might not seem like much, but the words we use influence our thoughts and our actions, which influence our outcomes.
Besides, success is built, not by a few big actions, but by countless small actions that add up over time.
Support Does Not Come from “Yes Men”
Because it’s so important to surround yourself with people who support you, I need to stress that by “support” I do not mean people who will always tell you you’re awesome, no matter what.
Yes, they should cheer you on when you’re doing well, but they should also be able to be honest when they can tell you’re not doing your best. Without constructive criticism, you’ll never improve, and that will keep you from reaching your goal.
How to Surround Yourself with the Right People
There are probably people in your life you love, but who don’t truly support you. They just don’t have the right mindset for success, so no matter how hard they try, they’ll always come back to warning you about all the ways this could go wrong instead of all the ways it could be great.
You can still love them and spend time with them, but it’s best to limit your time with them.
Any time you’re trying to get better outcomes in any area of your life, it’s best to look around and see who in your life makes you feel like these kinds of changes are both positive and possible? Who encourages you to keep going? Provides tips and resources to help you out? And is as excited by your success as you are?
Those are the people you want to spend more time with.
If you don’t already have people like that in your life, look for local groups and organizations that share the same interests or goals. If there isn’t a physical group nearby, look for them on social media.
Some of my favorite motivators who have an awesome social media presence include:
- Tony Robbins for mindset / self development
- Donald Miller for business/ leadership
- Craig Groeschel for faith/ leadership
- Joe Dispenza for self-development of the mind and meditations
Spend at least a few minutes every day chatting with them, reading their thoughts, and asking for help. You’ll get the most out of it if you spend time with them (either virtually or in person) right before doing whatever it is you need to do that day to get closer to your goal. Hearing from inspiring people will motivate you to go do something awesome, because if they did it, there’s no reason you can’t do it, too.
Last, but certainly not least, the idea that surrounding yourself with people who will set you up for success is exactly why I created my Alpha 5 Method as a group course. Because I know there’s only so much we can accomplish on our own, so if you’re still looking for your pack of motivated go-getters, look no further.